We're All Born Weeds

As most of you know, back in February we bought the house that we had been renting. It is a nice little house in a nice, quiet neighborhood. But it was owned by two different people before we bought the house and used as rental property, so I believe we were the fourth family to live in the house and it was built in 2003! This means that the yard was a mess, and, honestly, we only kept it mowed and did nothing with the landscaping until we bought the house. Once we closed on the home, we removed all of the landscaping and started over. It looks nice, except for the grass. We have the worst weeds I have ever seen. They are these long weeds that my "green" mover which runs by man power rather than by gas or electricity (think Mike Brady's lawnmower or Beaver Cleaver's) will not cut. So, I have to mow the lawn and then go back and pull each weed by hand. It is a tedious process, but gives me a lot of time to think while I am doing it.

I usually find myself singing this little song that I used to sing called "Weeds." This song is a horrible little Southern gospel song that I used to sing as part of a comedy group called the "Happy Goofmans," a group that parodied music in the church. We poked fun lovingly at the ridiculousness of gospel groups. We would sing about the King James Version and long hair and clothesline preaching. But the "Weeds" song was a real song and did not need any changes. It said something to this effect: "I've been changed from a weed into a flower and placed in the Master's bouquet. Weeds, we're all born weeds . . ." and so on. It was horrible and really funny with the bossa nova beat we put to it.

I also think about the parable of the wheat and the tares in which Jesus tells His disciples that the gardener would allow the wheat and the weeds to grow together and then in the end separate them from each other. I think it is hard to know which one we are sometimes. Like the sheep and the goats that the Father will judge, both are people who are planted in the same place and allowed to grow together, but one set knows the Father, and, more importantly, He knows them. The other, though they are fed together, the Father does not know.

Over the last couple of days, I have felt like a goat, primarily because I felt like I was treated like a servant, and it bothered me. It bothered me, and it bothered me that it bothered me. As much as I like to pretend that I am a servant and want only what is best for the Kingdom, I still have to admit that I am a long way from it at times. I also have to wonder whether or not my desire to be a servant is not fueled by a selfish desire to be perceived as the best Christ follower, and thereby the biggest servant or martyr or at least the facade of such. I also need to work on my patience with the church. Just because I feel that I have been enlightened to areas in which we need to grow (and I need to grow), does not mean that I have nothing to learn from the church or from my experiences in my local body. I am really struggling with feelings of superiority and it is making me very angry with myself.

Dear God, please help me to be able to serve without hesitation or reservation. Help me to use all that you teach me about the Christ-filled life as a means to bring people to you and not to make me feel better about how spiritual I can be. Amen.