To say that this last week has been interesting would be one of the world's largest understatements. It has not been bad, it has just been one of those weeks (2 or 3 depending on when this one started) that I have taken everything personally, that I have been overly tired, and that I have just wanted to stay in bed.
Case in point: I had this choir party that I was hosting this past Saturday evening. We had a Parisian theme with big visuals of the Arc de Triomphe and the Eiffel Tower on the walls, and lot of posters of Paris and art books and all manner of Parisian fare. The centerpieces were Eiffel Tower tea lights. We had our fall music reading session before and several folks who had been out and about came back to the fold and I was thrilled. The dinner was wonderful. Our pastor grilled fillet Mignon and it was delicious and I don't mean good for a church party. I mean it was good. Everything went off without a problem until I started taking down my decorations. I had this peal and stick poster of the Eiffel Tower that was taller than me and as I was taking it off, it pealed off about a foot of paint from our fellowship hall wall. Not thrilled. Not that big of a deal, but considering that I am taking everything harder than normal this week, it was an aneurysm awaiting.
Until today. We were having some issues with the computer we use for our visuals for our church services this morning. But, thankfully, that was taken care of early, before church ever began. Only thing was that our media people were training some new folks to run our visuals and about a third of the way through the service, they just went away (the visuals, not the people). Well, you must understand that we are live on television at 11:00 and I had to make the decision whether or not I was going to say something to the media people from the pulpit or just let it go. Bear in mind, all the words to the hymns are on this screen for the choir and for me. Now, I take the words with me, but I do not have them memorized by any means. So, if I have to use the words, it means I have to look down and not out to the people and to the television audience. It was not good, but I decided to say something to the media tech and within a couple of minutes it was taken care of and we did not have to go the rest of the service with no visuals for the choir and staff. I was nice and made some funny comments about being live. Thank God were not live this Sunday. By some strange grace from God our signal was not being picked up by the TV station, so we were able to edit out my comments. I think the congregation thought it was funny (several stopped me and said so, by the way), but I left feeling that there were those who were not thrilled with me for saying anything about it.
We are the FIRST Church and there are a good number of people who, by God, think we should act like we are a FIRST Church. Most First churches are like this, a little more proud of themselves than they ought to be, and I chose a First Church because I knew I would be able to communicate better with this type of church than with a more working class church. But the problem is when we act like a FIRST church, we are not accessible enough to the people of the world to engage them in a way that they will want to come along on the journey to knowing Christ. It is probably just my problem and I am likely reading more into comments that have been made.
We do have to be concerned about our reputation in the community, but I have to wonder at times whether our reputation helps us or hinders us. I remember a conversation I had with a hair stylist I went to the first couple of months I was in Florida. She was quirky as most hair stylists are. She asked me where I worked, and when I told her, she proceeded to ask me if they knew who they had hired. I said I thought they did. She said something to the effect that they must be going in a different direction over there. I took this as a compliment that I was a normal person, not a churchy person. Now, I do not think that anyone I work with is too churchy a person. We are all normal folks who love God and our community. It is difficult, though, to outlive church stereotyping. I think we are concertedly working on this and one day we will be free of this baggage.
I had a woman slip me the kindest note of encouragement today at our contemporary service. I don't think she realized how much I needed that this week. She visits every so often, but is not a member of the church. She slips in the back and worships like nobody else is there. I so appreciate it when she is here. I do not have to work for her to enter into worship. She just exudes worship. I need more of those kinds of people. I know I should be able to worship and lead in worship without a visual stimulus, but it helps so much when the congregation is more interactive. It just takes time to train people to praise the Lord, even people who really love the Lord like my congregation does.
As you can see, none of these things in and of themselves amounts to much stress. That is why it is all the more troubling to me that I would be bothered by these things. I feel foolish, but at least I have the three people who read my blog to take it out on.
I was having trouble communicating with my choir on Saturday afternoon, mainly due to the fact that I had not slept well in days. But then I had a vision of hell from the night before. It was scary and demons were all around me. It was hell all right. It was Wal-Mart. At least my children were not there to witness it. I told you I was a bit of a snob.
Peace
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