I had this weird experience last night. We were at church because a children's evangelist/musician was in concert. Oddly enough, he and the young woman who sings with him were from Oklahoma. How odd is it to run into someone from Oklahoma in northwest Florida? It is fairly out of the ordinary--except for people who were stationed on an air base in Oklahoma and now live in Panama City. As much as I try to get away or repress my Okie days, I guess you can never get away from where you came from. In fact, the longer I am away from Oklahoma the happier I am to be from there.
I have been thinking a good bit about growing up in Oklahoma City lately. As much as it seems like a totally different life, so much of my personality and decision making ability is based on my life there, even 13 years after leaving the windy state for good. It is funny that lately my wife and I have been nostalgic for "back in the day" times. We realized last week that next year we will have lived as long after high school as it took us to graduate. When we met, we were 19 years old and our greatest frame of reference came from high school and life with our families. Today, our frame of reference has a lot more to do with each other and our present realities than our growing up life. We do things quite a bit different than either of our respective families, but both of us are thankful that we had predominantly mellow environments in which to grow. We hope to give this type of atmosphere to our children, even if we live a long way from our families.
I admit that most of the memories that have stuck with me are not the most joyous ones. I remember an episode from my high school that was to this day the most painful growing experience of my life (and that is saying a lot). I learned a lot about grace that day, though I did not know that's what was happening. I guess the little grace that was shown to me that day would speak to me in such a way that I would never want to do that to anyone else. I think most of the folks I am around on a daily basis think I am a bleeding heart, always wanting to extend mercy for the tenth or eleventh time and this is not completely true. I am all about justice, I just rarely want to be the one to extend justice to anyone.
As I have mentioned often here, this blog is a means to help me understand myself and my world better. I heard this quote from James Joyce's Ulysses that startled me and put a cap on my feelings about learning life: "What incensed them the most was the blatant jokes of the ones who passed it all off as a jest, pretending to understand everything and in reality, not knowing their own minds." I never want to be this person, who has to pretend to get the joke or to understand the newest trendy thing. I do not want to make that mistake.
Speaking of mistakes, Joyce also wrote: "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." How true this has been in my life. I often wish that we could learn without the pain, but the pain builds in us a character that I would never trade. Thank God for the pain. I mean, how could we ever serve as counselors to those who are dealing with real pain without having suffered through our own?
So my question is: How have your mistakes been a portal of discovery for you?
And one other thing . . . Do you know what the difference between and Arkie and an Okie is? An Arkie has one mattress tied to the roof of his car. But an Okie, he has two. ; )
Peace
UPDATE & NDY GIG
12 years ago
3 comments:
: ) You know what’s worse than being from Oklahoma? Being from West Virginia, and then moving to Oklahoma for a better life. : ) Haha. Still, I love and miss Oklahoma dearly. I don’t think that I could live there again (what kind of ministry role could I possibly have in Oklahoma?), but I’m always glad to go home (more importantly, I’m always glad to eat my weight in Mexican food).
As far as growing experiences, the list is endless. What’s amazing is that, as I now work with and mentor young youth ministers, I see myself and my own mistakes in them. I’m much more compassionate towards them than the people they have to work with. This understanding not only allows me to encourage compassion in their colleagues, but also allows me to hold the youth ministers themselves accountable. My past painful experiences have also helped me in church planting. Mostly I’ve learned what not to do. Finally, my most devastating mistakes have made me into a more compassionate and forgiving person all around. I sometimes find it easy to pass judgement on judgemental Christians, but find it very hard to pass judgement on sinners. After all, I am one, and I’m desperate for grace in my own life. I take that verse about being “judged in the same way that I judge” very seriously.
Good post. Btw, this is the third time I’ve heard you bring up “the devastating incidence” from your high school days. You’re going to have to tell me about that sometime.
Tim, you are the only person who even knew that such an event existed prior to my posting about it. It is silly now, but was a turing moment for me (and my first to learn about extending grace to those who did not know how to extend it to me). The incident involved me and a little concocted story that was fed to me to see if I would tell. You know, a lesson to teach me about gossiping. Let's just say that, though I only told one person, enough people knew what was going on to make me feel pretty stupid. And, since we went to school with only 200 other students . . . never more embarassed than that day (except for maybe one other time in 1992 when I almost had a nervous breakdown, but that is a story for another blog). Anyway, I learned the lesson and I am grateful for it, but I am cautious of anything that I tell people now and I extend far more grace than I would have prior to that day. Again, thank God for the pain that even 18 years later is still teaching me valuable insights into myself and others.
Found your blog accidentaly
read this post on purpose
thoroughly enjoyed it.
thank you for writing.
definitely have a lot of learning left to do.
bless you.
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