Martyrdom, or Just Plain Martha

Servanthood for servanthood's sake has been continually on my mind lately. Since I am often reflective, intentions become important. I think that most of the time my intentions are good and I do my best to consider what other peoples' needs are and try to meet them before they ask. I do not expect people to do work that I can do myself.

Well, this past week we have been talking a lot about Mary and Martha at church. Its the same old story, Mary sat at Jesus' feet and Martha got upset that she was not helping her prepare the meal. Jesus, of course, commended Mary for seeking the higher purpose of worship rather than the menial tasks of her sister. Did it ever occur to us that what Martha was doing was what was expected of her? Funny thing is, I think I try really hard to do the things that are expected of me. Is it a bad thing to take care of the business of ministry?

My wife and I play this game I like to call "Who's the bigger martyr?" She will say something to the effect that she does this, this, and that. And I say well, I do blah, blah, bliddy blah. We both are really busy people (we work and have three small children and try to have a life as well). I think we just want for the other to acknowledge the other's contribution to the greater good. I mockingly refer to this as martyrdom. You know, doing something by myself that I could get others to help me with, but refusing help because it makes me a bigger martyr. But is this servanthood or just another way to make myself look like a servant? I guess it is about intentions.

My pastor spoke on Mary and Martha this past Sunday and mentioned that though we often look at Martha with disdain, she was the one who sought out Jesus. She was the one who invited Him into their house. She was seeking the greater good, but got caught up in the business of ministry. How much did this sound like my good intentions? Unfortunately, quite a bit. We like to look at Martha or Peter or Thomas and say, "I would never act like that if I had the opportunity to be with Jesus." But the fact is, we can all become too busy about the Father's business to see the Father.

So my question is: How can I know if I am a servant or just a "martyr"?