Significant Insignificance

As much as I value my opinion, I have very seldom thought it was necessary for anyone to agree with me or to value my thoughts as much as I value them. Or at least I pretend this is the case. I guess I really just want people to take me seriously, but I am finding that more people do than I ever thought. And I am wondering about the gravity or lack thereof I place on certain things.

I have come to the realization that the things I say are important and every episode in life may have lasting repercussions, far beyond what trivial weight I may give them at the time. In one of my more recent blogs I mentioned the triviality of conversations that led me down the path I am on at present, admitting that I did not realize what was happening at the time.

Case in point: Last fall I had a student who I did not really think I was connecting with. The person was not overly talented and, I admit, there were days I was just phoning it in as an instructor. At the end of the semester, there was clear improvement in the student's voice and overall demeanor. I had a member of the faculty where I teach now comment about how much this student liked me--that I could do no wrong, etc. So, I found myself in this guilty situation of having connected and effected a person's life without consciously intending to do so. Fascinating.

Case in point part 2: Recently I have become reacquainted with a former student who was in one class that I taught the last semester before I moved to Florida. I admit that I was not in the most clear of minds at that time in my life. Preparing for a new baby and a new life that was very nebulous then, I was not completely myself and not really paying attention to all of my students' needs. Or so I thought. It appears that things I told this student years ago now are still meaningful and acts of kindness that I thought little of at the time were still meaningful to this person. Intriguing.

I now understand that, despite my best efforts, when I am trying to be a "minister" I often fall flat. But, when I am most myself and not trying to channel the Holy Spirit for anything in particular, then I become most like Christ and express His love to those in my care the very best. Maybe it is like planning quality time with your children. It is never as meaningful to you or to them as it is when it evolves naturally out of who you are, as part of your relationship with them.

Life as ministry. The most insignificant moments can turn into pivotal moments of significance, whether we ever realize it or not.