A Census Taker Once Tried to Test Me . . .

So, today was the day that I finally got around to taking the first part of the psychological testing for my ordination candidacy process. After dropping off the little girls at preschool, I went over to the church where my mentor is the senior minister and took these personality tests. First, I took the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory-2 (MMPI-2) which is 567 questions. in length. Each question is a True or False question. Many of them have to do with whether or not you hate yourself, your family, or animals. Some of the questions were really difficult to answer (not the ones about hating myself or the family) and the more honest I wanted to be, the more concerned I got that maybe I should be more reserved. Who can say?

Then I took this "complete the sentence" exam in which they gave me a short sentence beginning like "My father seldom . . ." or "My ideal woman . . ." and I have to complete the thought as honestly as possible. The last question really stumped me: "Name three famous people (not religious figures) who you most admire and list the qualities of each that make you admire them." I could not think of one living famous person that I would want to be like, so I named some dead presidents that I have recently studied.

After the complete the sentence test, I took an additional personality inventory on the Internet that also included an IQ portion. I found after a while that I began answering similar questions differently. Maybe I got more honest as I went or maybe I was just too tired to stop and think them through as well as earlier in the process. The instructions said there was no right or wrong answer (except for the IQ portion) but there is always a wrong answer. I finished the exams at 11:00 this morning, 2 1/2 hours after I began. I am just glad that it is done. One more hurtle jumped for now.

I have started to get all of these informational packets from United Methodist seminaries in the mail since I began the candidacy process. I will have to take at least 8 or 9 courses to be ordained as a deacon, so I am interested to know what is available to me. I plan on taking as much as possible through distance education and through short-term residency in the summers or in January terms. Who knows, I may enjoy the courses enough that I want to complete another degree. I imagine if I decide to do that, I may be more inclined to take up residency at a seminary, though it is possible to do an "in-ministry" MDiv program through Asbury Theological Seminary that would allow me to stay exactly where I am for the duration. I am open to any possibility, but I am not going to go looking for this until after I am finished with the candidacy process. And, should I decide to move to go to school, it will be a good few years before that is even a possibility (and I would have to be able to find a church position close enough to a seminary so that I could finish school and still be gainfully employed). At this point, this seems so far in the future that there is no need to even consider it right now, but this has always been one plan I have had for myself--to finish a graduate degree in theology or Biblical studies. Time will tell.

Today I went to the girls' doctor to pick up an immunization and health form for Elizabeth's Kindergarten file and Madeline's allergy testing results. Oddly enough, the blood tests showed that Madeline is not overly allergic to anything . . . at all! I wonder if this is really accurate, since these past six weeks have been her longest period without an allergic attack of any kind in her entire short life. I mean, since we got rid of our dog, cleaned the carpets well, and got a new vacuum cleaner, she has hardly even coughed. I guess I should be relieved, but it still makes me wonder if the testing was just inconclusive. We may have to do a different kind of test just to make sure. I guess for now we will just be happy with these results.

Nothing else new to report, except that yesterday I read that a woman who was influential in my early musical life had died in December of 2005 and I did not even know about it. She was the co-founder of a children's musical group to which I belonged back in the day and I had completely lost contact with her (and the group, for that matter) until, providentially, I ran into her at a restaurant in Branson, Missouri back in the summer of 2005. I had no idea she lived there and even less of an idea that she was dying of cancer then. She seemed full of life and was interested to get me involved again as the organization was working in Texas as well at the time. I received some communications back in the fall of 2005, but nothing that would have led me to believe something was wrong. Then my life changed dramatically and I lost contact again.

It is amazing how we can lose track of people who were once so much a part of our lives. This happened with most of my friends from high school and from my growing up in general. It has already begun to happen with many of my friends and colleagues from Texas (though Facebook helps). Friendships are usually based on commonalities like geography or a workplace or an organization. But take those things out of the equation and how long does the friendship last.

For instance, there was a time shortly after I left Southwestern that I could talk to students or former colleagues about things that were going on there like someone who knew the place. But now, it would take so much explanation for me to understand what is going on there now, it would likely not be worth the effort to explain the circumstances to me. The commonality is gone. It does not mean the friendship goes away, it just has to change or it will die with the change of scenery.

Or, take this for instance ~ Six months before we moved to Florida, I got the opportunity to see several of my friends from high school again at an old friend's wedding. I had not seen most of them in over ten years, but immediately upon arriving, it was amazing how much the same it was with us. We talked and were really truthful with each other. I had one person tell me that if anyone in the world would understand something they had done it would be me. It was nice to see them and we promised we would talk again soon, but I have only spoken to one of them since (and this second and only additional time was in 2006 mind you). Maybe these friends were bound by a certain time and geography.

I have very few friends (okay, maybe just one) that I have kept with me for long periods of time without losing touch. It is interesting that these few are also the ones that, like me, have made major geographical and ideological changes in their lives. I believe it is these changes that have kept us yoked to each other since we no longer see each other on a regular basis and live thousands of miles from each other (the regular commonalities are no longer part of the equation). Maybe we actually know each other beyond the everyday bounds of place and time frame.

So my question for today is, how do we keep the common ground in our relationships after the geography or ideology changes? Is it even possible or profitable to attempt to keep them alive? Are some "good" friends meant to be limited by geography or ideology?