Thoughts on Calling

As most of you know, I have begun to process to be ordained as a deacon in full connection in the United Methodist Church. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to continue my ministry in the church in a more "official" capacity without having to pigeonhole myself into a preaching ministry in order to be ordained. As a first step in the process we were asked to read a short book on calling and ordination within the UMC called The Christian as Minister. I read through it a couple of weeks ago and was not impressed, but I knew I would eventually find some significant nuggets and maybe a reason behind the drudgery. I had borrowed an older copy of the book but decided to order a more recent edition for myself. I got it last week and started reading and it began to speak to me more the second time around. There were still things that really do not pertain to me, primarily because the beginning stages of the process are really pointed toward a younger person who is considering a life's calling, not someone who has had some time to come to terms with God's call (this is especially true of the "Candidacy Guidebook" I received in the mail this past weekend).

Anyway, we were "required" to read this little book and explain why we thought God wanted us to read this book. I think God wanted me to read it in order to be submissive to this process. Like many former Pentecostals, I find that much of this feels beneath me spiritually. I have considered these things since I was very young. If we learned one thing in the Assemblies of God, it was to consider vocational calling to ministry. Been there. Bought the t-shirt. But the truth is, servant leadership is not about feeling superior, it is about opening myself up to the grand realization that I do not have all the answers (have you read this blog?), never did, and once I am ordained I still won't. But hopefully, I will be a better servant.

Second, I think God wanted me to "hear" the following quotations on servant leadership and calling. Some of them are more specifically geared to the deacons orders, but most of them are about service in general. I hope they are significant to you.

"It is only by hearing, answering and participating in the divine calling that I can come to know who I am. We are not who we think we are; we are who God calls us to be." Gilbert Meilaender

Imagine, God calls us to be something different than who we think we are. I think we attempt to place our calling within a framework that fits us. What we fail to realize, is God wants to break the model and remake us in His image. I want to know who I am, and the only way to do this is to allow God to break my preconceptions about myself and what my ministry ought to be.

"'The great leader is seen as servant first.' The difference between servant-first and leader-first 'manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people's highest priority needs are being served. The best test is: do those served grow as persons; do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous.'" Robert K. Greenleaf

I think this is a true test of what each of us does in ministry. Are the people in our care better off with us in their lives than without us? Do we effect enough change in their worlds? Or do we allow God to manifest Himself through us enough that He makes a difference through us in the lives we touch each day? If we are not replicating ourselves in the lives of our people, are we effective minister/servants?

"Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's 'Theory of Relativity' to serve. You don't have to know the Second Theory of Thermal Dynamics in Physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love, and you can be that servant." Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is one of my favorites, because Dr. King makes being a servant sound like the greatest job in the world. What is sad is often, because of education or whatever reason, we tend to believe we are better than being a servant, when Christ Himself took on the garb of a servant. Just like Jesus told Peter, "If I do not wash your feet, then you have no part in me." I guess it is the greatest position that we can have. To be a servant is to be the least of these, and to be the last allowed to go first.

"The early church . . . set apart other persons to care for the physical needs of others, reflecting the concerns for the people of the world. In the New Testament (Acts 6), we see the apostles identifying and authorizing persons to a ministry of service."

"Within the people of God, some persons are called to the ministry of deacon. The word deacon . . . spring[s] from a common Greek root--diakonos, or 'servant,' and diakonia, or 'service.' Very early in its history the church . . . instituted an order of ordained ministers to personify or focus the servanthood to which all Christians are called. These people were named deacons. This ministry exemplifies and leads the Church in the servanthood every Christian is called to live both in the church and the world. The deacon embodies the interrelationship between worship in the gathered community and service to God in the world. " Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church

I am looking forward to this journey with joy and hesitation, but I definitely believe it is the right thing. I see it as another step towards "home."