Groundhog Day and Leaving "the" Ministry

So, it is Groundhog Day. I have never quite understood the point of a groundhog seeing his shadow. But it appears that because Punxsutawny Phil saw his shadow earlier today and so we are in for another six weeks of winter. I could have told them that and saved them the trouble of molesting that poor groundhog, but again, I wasn't asked. When will people learn?

This week marks the three year anniversary of our move to Florida. And, honestly, it seems kind of anticlimactic at this point. It seems so normal. Kind of dull really, but also very much like what home should feel like. I take this as a good sign. The family is content and no one feels any inclination whatsoever to make any changes at present. I think this is a good thing for now as well.

I have given a lot of thought to what it must be like for ministers who leave vocational ministry to do something else. Of course ministers leave full-time church ministry for a lot of reasons. I have known those who got burned out by working too long with aggravating church members, those who just got tired, and those who had to leave because they did something inappropriate and were forced to leave.

Some of my interest in this topic has been sparked by the recent documentary concerning Ted Haggard that Alexandra Pelosi made for HBO, The Trials of Ted Haggard. The documentary begins with his high-profile ministry in Colorado when he was president of the National Association of Evangelicals and quickly moves into the period following the allegations that he had issues with drugs and homosexuality. Of course, he admitted to these things eventually, and others, including a more recent report that he had an inappropriate relationship with a male intern at the New Life Church. He had to live outside of Colorado for a year, find other work, and was barred from ever entering the church he founded. It was pretty much an awful experience. He was completely debased.

Pelosi asked Haggard why he never told anyone he had these struggles and he told her that he was afraid he would lose everything, his social standing, his marriage, his children, his friends, and his church. He lost everything except his family as a result of his choices. He had to try to figure out how to live life outside of the church. I have always wondered how people do this when they have never lived anywhere else. Haggard admitted he had never been on a job interview in his life and he was really left without much recourse since he had no marketable skills.

I do not condone what Haggard did. I feel sorry for him because I understand how it feels to not want to admit you deal with doubts or anything else that does not line up identically with the evangelical ideal. I think his abuse of power was a fundamental flaw in the evangelical framework, and when someone is struggling with such deep seated issues, and really should remove themselves from the situation, it is made all the harder to deal with problems when you are the leader. I am sure many ministers deal with these issues of power and how to work out their own sins and shortcomings. But who wants to admit that we are not living up to what God wants us to be? Being placed on a pedestal, and Haggard definitely was on a big one, makes the fall from grace all the worse.

Back to my topic: How do ministers deal with normal life? Ted Haggard admitted that he had no idea what to do. I have often thought more of the changes I have made in my life than I really should have. Granted, they were big for me at the time, but when I am honest, I realize that the fundamental way in which I view myself has not changed all that much. When I look back at my old life, I was a full-time music professor and a part-time church musician. Today, I have those roles reversed, but they are still the same roles. I never stopped working within this same framework. Only the time spent with each has changed. Now, I don't want to diminish the changes I have made. They have allowed me to further get to know myself and in the process understand better my place in the world and in the Kingdom. And they have allowed me to be more honest with myself and with others, something I did not think was possible before. I digress.

So how does a minister deal with becoming a salesman or teacher or whatever? Does it mean that their calling has changed? Does it mean they never really had a calling? Is it a lull in their life plan? Does it matter? Do we place too much emphasis on the role of the "the" in "the ministry"? I am a firm believer that most real ministry occurs outside any church building, so maybe it is better when ministers are led (again, for whatever reason) to leave full-time church ministries, even for unfortunate reasons. Maybe this is a way for true ministry to happen in everyday places, places most full-time pastors could never go. . .

P. S.: I need more followers. If you regularly or irregularly read my little slice of the blogosphere, please become one of my faithful few. The link is to your right.