The Virtue of Patience

I have never had so many people call me patient than in the last couple of weeks. I have never been a patient person and it is likely that my family would agree all too wholeheartedly on this one; but, this has been my appellation all too often lately. I am finding that dealing with people in the church is far different than dealing with people in academia. I have known this all along, it is just that this point keeps being driven home to me over and over.

So, last week was really full and as crazy as I thought it would be. Something just about every minute. Finish one thing. Begin the next task. All leading up to my Choir's presentation of Saint-Saens' Christmas Oratorio. I hired professional musicians to come in and play the strings and harp parts and we had our first rehearsal on Wednesday evening. Since we were joined by the Choir of 1st Presbyterian Church (PCA) [A PCA church is the very conservative Presbyterian church that broke away from the PCUSA over dogmatic issues] we had a very full choir loft (over 50) and organ and strings and harp. It was a tight fit but we managed well. All I can say is the rehearsal was interesting. I was already exhausted because I had driven my ladies choir to Dothan, Alabama that morning and brought them back in the afternoon. It is only 80 miles, but still a big undertaking for a never-ending day. Back to rehearsal: Let's just say that we had some alternative readings of some measures. Some looks. Some comments. Understanding nods. All of this to say, we had a few problems, but nothing that we could not work through.

Fast Forward to Sunday: So, I was at church for over 13 hours. I never left after the three morning services were over. So much to do. Instrumental rehearsal at 2:30. Rehearsal with soloists at 3:00. Choir rehearsal at 3:30. Performance at 5:00. It was a long day, but the performance went as well as possible. Overall, I was completely pleased. We had close to 300 in attendance. I was amazed a little. One of the things that I have enjoyed about my musical presentations this year is getting to work with the musical community of Panama City. I am finding solidarity with these people. They enjoy working with me and, in some strange way, validate me in a way I guess I did not realize I needed. I have always been a little uneasy around the instrumental folks. Maybe it goes back to that dichotomy between a singer and a musician, but they always make me worry. I do not enjoy conducting all that much, though I do it ALL the time and it is very natural to me, but I especially worry with conducting an instrumental ensemble. [Conducting is one of those things that I never thought I would do until I was asked to start a choir at the university. I guess I got better at it with practice.] This string quartet that I work with are easy to work with, consummate professionals, and they are always complimentary of what I do and willing to work with me again. I appreciate that. They also tell me the horror stories of church choir directors who never cue them, who do not know what a downbeat is, and the ones who conduct with their eyes closed the whole time. I am glad I am not one of those.

And, they think I am patient. And so does the choir director from the Presbyterian Church. And so does our church pianist. They do not know how I deal with some of the things that are thrown at me from a certain person who shall remain nameless. I was talking to one of the musicians after our performance and I made the comment that the reason I am so patient with this person is that I want to try to help them. I have a way with people, of being able to encourage them and, in so doing, bring out the best of them musically or emotionally or whatever. But I have not been able to get through to this person. Some have told me that oftentimes in the church, people can get so hurt that there is nothing that any one person can do for them. I mean, this person is one of those who does not even have to look for trouble. They are a magnet for troublesome situations. Everything is drama. My wife and I discuss folks like this that we know and wonder why these types of things never happen to us. Or, maybe they do, we just do not react to them like these dramatic types.

Anyway, I guess I have met my match. The musician I was talking to Sunday evening told me that I might actually be enabling this person to continue in this behavior. I never thought of myself as an enabler. Ever. I realize that my patience with this person is getting shorter. I just want to say "Grow up and be honest." But how do you do this with a person in the church? A person who is so desperately fragile, who lives in this self-pitying state? See, I understand wallowing. I wallow a lot, but in private. Even in my lowest moments, I am still functional. I dust myself off and do what needs to be done. I just want to be able to say the right thing and everything be all right. I guess the reality is that this is not possible for this person without a real touch from God. Truth is, it was much easier to say the right thing to college students because you could speak wisdom into a life not quite begun. How much harder it is to bring peace to those who have fought it for so long.

That musician Sunday night left me with this thought: Imagine how much wisdom I will have by the time I am older because I have dealt with issues like this earlier in my life/ministry. I know God gives liberally to all who lack wisdom, but I think I could stand for Him to be a little more conservative on this one. Or two, but that person is the topic for another day's blog.

So my question is: What have situations/people in the church taught you about you? What have you learned from them that has changed the way you view ministry?

P. S.: I went to the second most scary place after Wal-Mart today . . . the Christian bookstore. I mean, those people are way too happy. I barely got in the door and they were "Merry Christmasing" me. I felt like I was running for office and all I wanted to do was look for Christmas music. No luck on that count, but I got another "MC" on the way out. Again, I think I need to turn in my evangelical membership card, but where does one do this?