Taking a Deep Breath

I still cannot get used to flip flops in December, but that is my lot in Florida. I have been out of pocket the last couple of days with a sick child and my day off and so I have been wearing the Florida uniform--shorts and flip flops. Granted, I would rather it be warm like this (in the upper 70s and low 80s) than like those back "home" in North Texas and Oklahoma. I do not want to trade places with those folks.

As you know I have been busily working on all of my Christmastime musical presentations. The choir was done on Sunday evening. My senior ladies choir had two performances this week and both went swimmingly well. They are a lot of fun to work with and we had attentive, interactive audiences for our end of season performances which make the ladies sing all the better. Truth is, we rarely get this type of audience in the places we frequent--nursing homes and retirement centers. My handbell choir gave their final concert this Wednesday evening for our weekly fellowship supper. We scheduled the concert in conjunction with the weekly supper so we could guarantee a good audience and the tactic worked. We had one of the best crowds we have ever had for a handbell concert. The ladies did well and they were very generous with me.

This Sunday, the Choir is having a Christmas luncheon at the yacht club. I was really looking forward to this, but now we have a funeral on Sunday afternoon, so I will not get to go home at all that day. Church for 6 hours, luncheon for another hour or so, a funeral, and then caroling and a chili cook-off. And I thought last Sunday at 13 hours was a long day. I really only have one project left to do for the season and since I am not completely in charge of it, I am not as worried about it as I probably should be.

I am really looking forward to being on hiatus for a little while. It will be nice to see family again, and recover from this season's hullabaloo. I appreciate the idea of resting for a few moments before charging into the new year. This has been a trying last few months, but it is amazing how that when I stop, even for a few moments, I begin to get eager to be busy again. I don't know if this is because I have too much time to stop and reflect on things that I need not worry about or if it is because I truly need to be busy. I really do not know the answer. I am sure that spending Christmas with my three little angels will make all things new again.

One last thought: Has saying "Merry Christmas" become a political thing?

You know, there were 9 members of Congress who voted against officially celebrating Christmas this year, though most of these voted to celebrate Ramadan and other non-Christian holidays. I like being politically correct, but it concerns me when our elected officials continue to disdain the majority of the American populous while catering to a minority opinion. It is perfectly fine to offend a Christian in our country today. Maybe we have allowed things to get to such a point where people outside the Church have no qualms about offending Christians. Or maybe, Christmas has become so commercial, so secular? Maybe the holiday as celebrated today has become so far removed from the true meaning of Christmas, that we are easy targets for this type of discrimination? The one thing that I hate about this is that it seems like people are saying "Merry Christmas" for all the wrong reasons. I am saddened when I feel someone is only telling me this because they feel their rights have been infringed upon, not because they hope my heart is filled with Christ afresh during this season.

Well, I hope your heart is filled anew with the spirit of Christ this Christmas season, that you can sense his presence in a tangible way, that you are able to move past the commercialism of the secular holiday to find Christ afresh. Better yet, "Merry Christmas!"

The Virtue of Patience

I have never had so many people call me patient than in the last couple of weeks. I have never been a patient person and it is likely that my family would agree all too wholeheartedly on this one; but, this has been my appellation all too often lately. I am finding that dealing with people in the church is far different than dealing with people in academia. I have known this all along, it is just that this point keeps being driven home to me over and over.

So, last week was really full and as crazy as I thought it would be. Something just about every minute. Finish one thing. Begin the next task. All leading up to my Choir's presentation of Saint-Saens' Christmas Oratorio. I hired professional musicians to come in and play the strings and harp parts and we had our first rehearsal on Wednesday evening. Since we were joined by the Choir of 1st Presbyterian Church (PCA) [A PCA church is the very conservative Presbyterian church that broke away from the PCUSA over dogmatic issues] we had a very full choir loft (over 50) and organ and strings and harp. It was a tight fit but we managed well. All I can say is the rehearsal was interesting. I was already exhausted because I had driven my ladies choir to Dothan, Alabama that morning and brought them back in the afternoon. It is only 80 miles, but still a big undertaking for a never-ending day. Back to rehearsal: Let's just say that we had some alternative readings of some measures. Some looks. Some comments. Understanding nods. All of this to say, we had a few problems, but nothing that we could not work through.

Fast Forward to Sunday: So, I was at church for over 13 hours. I never left after the three morning services were over. So much to do. Instrumental rehearsal at 2:30. Rehearsal with soloists at 3:00. Choir rehearsal at 3:30. Performance at 5:00. It was a long day, but the performance went as well as possible. Overall, I was completely pleased. We had close to 300 in attendance. I was amazed a little. One of the things that I have enjoyed about my musical presentations this year is getting to work with the musical community of Panama City. I am finding solidarity with these people. They enjoy working with me and, in some strange way, validate me in a way I guess I did not realize I needed. I have always been a little uneasy around the instrumental folks. Maybe it goes back to that dichotomy between a singer and a musician, but they always make me worry. I do not enjoy conducting all that much, though I do it ALL the time and it is very natural to me, but I especially worry with conducting an instrumental ensemble. [Conducting is one of those things that I never thought I would do until I was asked to start a choir at the university. I guess I got better at it with practice.] This string quartet that I work with are easy to work with, consummate professionals, and they are always complimentary of what I do and willing to work with me again. I appreciate that. They also tell me the horror stories of church choir directors who never cue them, who do not know what a downbeat is, and the ones who conduct with their eyes closed the whole time. I am glad I am not one of those.

And, they think I am patient. And so does the choir director from the Presbyterian Church. And so does our church pianist. They do not know how I deal with some of the things that are thrown at me from a certain person who shall remain nameless. I was talking to one of the musicians after our performance and I made the comment that the reason I am so patient with this person is that I want to try to help them. I have a way with people, of being able to encourage them and, in so doing, bring out the best of them musically or emotionally or whatever. But I have not been able to get through to this person. Some have told me that oftentimes in the church, people can get so hurt that there is nothing that any one person can do for them. I mean, this person is one of those who does not even have to look for trouble. They are a magnet for troublesome situations. Everything is drama. My wife and I discuss folks like this that we know and wonder why these types of things never happen to us. Or, maybe they do, we just do not react to them like these dramatic types.

Anyway, I guess I have met my match. The musician I was talking to Sunday evening told me that I might actually be enabling this person to continue in this behavior. I never thought of myself as an enabler. Ever. I realize that my patience with this person is getting shorter. I just want to say "Grow up and be honest." But how do you do this with a person in the church? A person who is so desperately fragile, who lives in this self-pitying state? See, I understand wallowing. I wallow a lot, but in private. Even in my lowest moments, I am still functional. I dust myself off and do what needs to be done. I just want to be able to say the right thing and everything be all right. I guess the reality is that this is not possible for this person without a real touch from God. Truth is, it was much easier to say the right thing to college students because you could speak wisdom into a life not quite begun. How much harder it is to bring peace to those who have fought it for so long.

That musician Sunday night left me with this thought: Imagine how much wisdom I will have by the time I am older because I have dealt with issues like this earlier in my life/ministry. I know God gives liberally to all who lack wisdom, but I think I could stand for Him to be a little more conservative on this one. Or two, but that person is the topic for another day's blog.

So my question is: What have situations/people in the church taught you about you? What have you learned from them that has changed the way you view ministry?

P. S.: I went to the second most scary place after Wal-Mart today . . . the Christian bookstore. I mean, those people are way too happy. I barely got in the door and they were "Merry Christmasing" me. I felt like I was running for office and all I wanted to do was look for Christmas music. No luck on that count, but I got another "MC" on the way out. Again, I think I need to turn in my evangelical membership card, but where does one do this?

God's Last Name and Other "Peaceful" Thoughts

This weekend was really full. Handbells playing downtown Friday night. And a debut parade performance for Ms. Emma Keaton. She is a twirler, a Majorette at her school and she and the middle school band marched in the annual Christmas parade this past Saturday evening. It was not very cold, but we sat out in the cool for over 2 hours and she was only the 22nd in line. It was a long parade, but she did very well.

It is always interesting to watch the people who come to these events and there were a lot there. Some were passing out candy and others were collecting money. But there was one group who were passing out tracts. I got one that was called "God's Last Name is Not Damn." I thanked them for the tract. They were not proselytizing. They did not stay in one place too long. They were just passing out their literature. A woman with the longest hair I have ever see on a real-live person and three or four little boys and girls. I always enjoy getting or finding a "you are going straight to hell" tract. Not too long ago I found one in the men's restroom of a Florida state rest stop. Good times. But it does not take long for this ironic joy to turn to a slight case of the blues. These people make me sadder than anyone else on earth. And it is not just because of their fashion consciousness. I am grieved because this is what most people outside the church think of Christians, maybe what they think of me. I am sad because all of their literature is about escaping hell, and not trying to rid the earth of the hells that we can see. I am sad because if I brought this up to any one of these people, I would be considered a sinner. And maybe I am. But I am more concerned now about the world in which my children live than the world to come, not that heaven in not important. I am just trying to imagine the realities of Jesus' teachings that the kingdom of God is among us. Misty heard a few of these folks yelling the gospel at a street corner several months ago. She rolled her window down and quoted Scripture to them. They did not know what to do. I think they were disappointed that she did not cuss them out. You know, for His Name's sake.

Another thing that made me sad this week was Middle East peace conference and the state of Christians in the Holy Land. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, I think we all desire peace. No matter what our religion is, we want our children to be safe and secure. We hear so much about Israel, but we seldom hear anything positive about the Palestinians. I read this article in the December's National Geographic Magazine about the state of Bethlehem and how the city is troubled. A hundred years ago, most of the population was Christian, but now only about a third of the population are practicing Palestinian Christians. It has been almost three years since my trip to Bethlehem but it was one of the most tense experiences I had while in the Holy Land. Our bus was boarded by members of the Israeli Defense carrying automatic weapons. They looked at our passports and miraculously allowed us to drive into the West Bank, just a few miles from Jerusalem. We were accosted by Palestinian "businessmen" who were desperate to sell anything so they could have a little money. Business is really bad. They told us so, but you knew they were not kidding. And having to deal with that huge separation wall that was beginning to take shape when I was there, is ruining most opportunities for tourism and trade with Israel. I am sad that Israel feels they need to protect themselves like this. I am sad that Christians are leaving Bethlehem by the droves. I am sad that the Palestinians are second class citizens, used as political pawns by everyone in the region.

This Christmas I am praying for peace in my own heart, in my country and in the world. I am ready for us to take Jesus' words to heart, to be about restoring creation and this world, not merely waiting for a world to come when everything will be perfect.

Peace on earth, indeed.