A New Perspective on Life

Well, it has been almost six months since I left my life as a college music professor in Texas to serve as a music director in a United Methodist church in Florida. It has been a weird transition for me, since I was so used to my life in Texas. It has been a little identity crisis for me. I remember talking to this man about ministry a few years ago when the possibility of making a life change first came into my mind. He told me that it was always important to have a platform for your ministry and that if you give that up it can be difficult to regain it. I have come to believe he was right. Now, don't get me wrong, I am in the right place for me and for my family at this time in our lives. We really needed a life adventure and this has definitely been an adventure. Everyone at our church has been very warm and welcoming. I feel more at home in this church than I ever did in the churches I served in before.

A former colleague of mine recently said something like this: " I am a Pentecostal, but not really." When she said this, it resonated with me , though she was talking about herself. I felt this way for many years, and it has only been in stepping out of a Pentecostal church and college environment that I have realized my place was not there. Now, this does not mean that I would trade that life experience for anything. I think it has helped give me great insight. Though, at this point, I am not completely sure what that insight will lead to. I had another friend recently tell me that he never thought I was happy--that I had everything most people would want and was still miserable. He was right. I think it was mainly because I had gone as far as that life paradigm would allow me to go. It is hard to feel like you peaked at 24. I just could not bear to live that way.

For several years I knew that I would make this move, though I did not realize it would mean a move across the country. However, in a lot of ways, this big move has made it easier to transition to a "mainline" denomination. Mainline is such a dirty word in my former circle. It has meant that I do not have to look at my former life everyday. I think it would have been much harder making this transition in faith (and job and life) if we had stayed in the same house in the same town. I know there are some of my former colleagues and students who would think I have totally backslidden, gone the wicked way, however you want to put it, because I have become affiliated with the United Methodist Church. All I can say is that God was in this change and I am thankful for it. Now, I don't know if I will do this forever or if I will go back to teaching some years down the line. But one thing I have learned through this journey is that nothing in this life is forever. I had gotten to a point in Texas where I felt like there was nothing else I could do and that I would be there forever. Now, I believe I am ready for whatever God calls me to do, probably for the first time in my life. And, gasp, I am a liberal Protestant!